Author, psychiatrist and psychotherapist Ben Furman, shows us ‘how to convert a child’s problem into a skill to be learned and used, without blaming others or fault finding’. Sound interesting? It is! This is a really helpful and easy to read book. I wanted to just skim read it but I found myself underlining and taking notes!
In summary Ben outlines 15 Steps for us to use on page 10. They all have great visual images to prompt us too. Some of these steps include:
#1. Converting problems into skills
#4. Naming the skill
#7. Building confidence
#10. Going public
#11. Practicing the skill
#12. Creating reminders
#13. Celebrating success
#15. Moving onto the next skill
He equips us with the right questions to ask, including:
- “What does the child need to learn for the problem to disappear?”
- “And what do you need to learn in order not to do that?”
- “It seems that your mum wants you to learn to do your homework on your own. Do you agree that this would be a good skill for you to learn?”
Ben Furman provides heaps of ‘typical’ and ‘familiar’ scenarios to which we can all relate and works/re-works the situation for positive outcomes. He provides loads of examples and great illustrations, to show us “how to focus on what the child needs to learn rather than what is not working.”
Soon you will recognize that you have new thinking and new words to use: “rather than saying my child has lots of problems to overcome” you will hear yourself saying “my child has several skills to learn or improve upon.”
Ben’s book “Kids Skills” is a must have for parents, teachers, grandparents and carers of children from little to adolescence. He uses solution focused psychology to empower us all – the adults and the children. Emphasis is placed on the learner doing the right thing rather than stopping doing the wrong thing.
“KidsSkills” can be purchased from the Fruition Tuition website